Cutting myself FREE from my deepest fear

Letting go of my biggest fear may be acknowledging my own light, beauty and even power and living in it. There is beauty in acknowledging the light in others.  When I am with a group of children I can see and feel the aura and energy emanating from them as they share their truths and witness their own beauty. Emotion fills me and leaks out my eyes as I watch their unfolding. I was challenged by a passage of writing by Marriane Williams on Our Deepest Fear, "...Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond all measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us." So unlocking or setting free my light for ME feels like trying to pry open a HEAVY RUSTED PRISON DOOR!  

When I was in my 20's I could freely acknowledge my ability,goodness and intelligence.  It was a challenge for me to see the goodness and light in others.  In my 30's this scenario flipped. It wasn't just that as I experienced the tests of raising young children that I naturally felt my own inadequacies and failings. We spent 10 years, for me that was ages 30-40, in an abusive church situation, that distorted my view of myself.  So now at 51 I have been trying to unravel my thinking.  There is a part of this process that may simply be the need to walk in my light. Acknowledging my beauty, talent and even power all attributed to this light eminating from within me is a part of my liberation.  I envision swim miming upstream with a heavy bag of rocks tied to my feet, (the twisted views of self and shame), then taking a knife and cutting myself free from this weight and allowing my body to float freely down steam. No longer struggling but allowing my light to SHINE!